Enjoying the Time Together

While Marcus was away at scout camp Justin enjoyed being the oldest brother in the house. I tried to make our time special so we redid their room. It was painted sky blue and he wanted it grey, well, he really wanted black but there is no way one of the rooms in my house will ever be painted black. I compromised and painted all of their furniture black. That wasn't too hard since it was already navy. We bought new sheets, comforters and curtains, all black of course. The room turned out great and we're all happy with the results.


This one wants his hair long, wants to wear only black and purple and insists on wearing his socks and shoes no matter how hot it is outside. I always said he'll be the one who is cool. He knows what he wants and what he doesn't want, this one.

It used to frustrate the heck out me but I've been thinking a lot about how I was at that age. Um, ya, exactly the same, except for the purple and black thing. Come to think of it, I'm like that now. I'm learning to give him space, encourage and support his strengths and interests. He's a great kid, extremely talented and can make you laugh. The boy in as incredible artist, one that has talent and needs a place to express it. He's learning Japanese since he's very interested in manga art and manages to impress all the teachers at the Japanese school especially since neither of his parents are Japanese. My favorite question at the Japanese school that I get every time I go- "Is your husband Japanese?", um, noooo.....


Although it was hard to have Marcus gone for so long, it was nice to have more time to spend with Justin. I'm always happiest though when all of my family is under one roof, our roof and everyone is sleeping soundly in their own beds at night.

Freedom

Bryan and I learned long ago that we don't do crowds and I don't do freezing cold temperatures. The two combined does not make for a happy holiday. After schlepping our kids down to the local fireworks a couple of years in a row only to hear mostly complaints and a few oohs and aahs, we decided to stay home and do our own fireworks, like when we were kids. Well, when we were kids things were a little different. California wasn't such a nanny state that told you what you could and could not do everytime you turned around. It's illegal to set off "safe and sane" fireworks in Contra Costa County but you can buy the fireworks all over the place. We're pretty safe and sane people but unfortunately in this state a few numbskulls can ruin it for those of us who are safe and sane.

We decided we would be law abiding citizens and set off our fireworks in a city where it is legal, Dublin. Luckily we have some really amazing friends who live there and let us join them in their 4th of July celebrations. It was a tough decision, I'm not gonna lie. We like setting off fireworks in our own backyard but we're doing our best to raise children who follow the law even when we don't like it.

We ended up having a really great time and we're happy we did it the way we did. In the end, we know that the rewards are greater for those who live righteously and with integrity. It's doing the right thing, the more uncomfortable way, sometimes it goes against our will but we know in our heart that it's right. Sometimes it involves fireworks and sometimes it involves something so much bigger, like a life altering decision. Why don't we listen to those who are closest to us, the ones who love us the most? Why do we go against those who want to protect us? Is it a fight for independence or is it stubbornness? We have to be careful because we don't want to be burned, scarred forever doing damage to those around us and those who never asked for any involvement but became a part of the situation simply by a careless action of our own. It can start with something small, something we think is small, but it can lead to something so much bigger, with such a huge impact. Fireworks are beautiful and fun and exciting, especially because we don't get to see them that often, but they can also be very dangerous.
There are situations that come along that are beautiful and fun and exciting but can be very dangerous if handled incorrectly. There are rules set in place to protect us, especially for those who tend to be careless. We may not like the rules but they are to protect us none the less. Following the rules gives us security and reaps a reward that only those who choose to follow the right path seem to enjoy.
The other path only leads to heartache and destruction, not freedom.

I for one am happy that I live in a country that stands for freedom. Sometimes it seems like that freedom is being infringed upon but it's still the best country in the world and I'm so blessed to live here and to raise my family here. I'm thankful for friends and celebrations and choosing the right path.

Maui

For some reason this was never posted. It's a little late but you know what they say....

As we head into the second week of our vacation here on Maui my mind continues to ponder. Is the good stuff good because we haven't taken the time to really enjoy it or it's good because it doesn't happen very often. Maybe it's both. It's good to wake up to a warm breeze blowing over your summer jammied body. It's good to slow things down and lounge around in the morning, throw on your swimsuit and head to the beach. It's good to take a shower in the afternoon and then fall asleep among the cool sheets with damp hair. It's good that a 1000 piece puzzle is on the dining room table and you can work on it little by little.
It's good to round up the kids and head to the ice cream shop. Oh, it is good.



Is it good to get up early before everyone else and have some quiet time? Is it good to tackle your to-do list? Is it good to keep a clean house? Is it good to pay the bills and run errands? Yes, all of those are good things but they are quickly put into perspective here. They are not what is most important. People. That's what's important.


And for me, it's these people.

Let's Slow It Down

I'm not sure what it is about Maui that does it but things just slow down while we're here. It could be the fact that there are no to-do lists, errands, yardwork, housework, meetings, appointments, lessons, and the list goes on. I do enjoy all of those things at home but here, here it's just nice to wake up to birds chirping (even if it is 5:30 in the morning), the sight of my children sleeping in their beds with no covers, and the ocean framed by palm trees out our balcony. I don't even mind showing a little skin.
I almost don't mind throwing in a load of laundry or washing a few dishes because when I'm done I can sip my coffee, work on my puzzle, finish my book, or just sit on the balcony and enjoy the view.
Knowing most of our family is a just an elevator or pathway away is soothing. It's part of the magic of Maui. Some of them are missing this year. Work, money, commitments all pulling them in different directions. Most of them will reunite here this October without us but I'm happy for them that they will get to experience the magic too.
Marcus loves boogie boarding, Justin not so much. Justin enjoys creating monsters out of sand and so does his sister, well not monsters but she still enjoys building sand castles. She also enjoys catching waves on her mini boogie board.


This place allows me the space to think, to ponder, to process everything. I am happy with my life. We're raising our kids, building our lives, laying a foundation for what is to come. Sometimes I see a crack in that foundation and realize that it needs to be filled, reinforced so that it doesn't cause a divide, one that cannot be fixed. Teenagers have a way of revealing cracks. Everything can be going along smoothly and then trip, you stumble on that part of your life that was uneven and is pushing itself to the surface.
And then there are those times when you glance at your sons and realize they're growing into men. Men you hope will be filled with integrity and honor like their father. Men who will choose a wife and choose her wisely. Men who will love their wife with all of their heart and his children unconditionally. Men who will provide for their family, protect them, care for them and give them his best.
The best thing is, I'm married to that man.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day. It's a beautiful day, one that I look forward to with anticipation and excitement. Everyday is Mother's Day for me though. My husband spoils me on a regular basis and my children make my heart happy every day.

Sometimes I just stop and look at them for a few minutes especially when I see something I recognize, something that tells me they're mine. Like the smallest one who cries at the drop of a hat. I remember a little girl who would cry if you looked at her wrong or raised your voice. But she was also a girl who could withstand an incredible amount of instabibilty in her life and push through the hard times.

Or the middle one who knows exactly what he doesn't want but isn't so sure of what he does want. I remember a kid who would drive her mother crazy when she would take her shopping for clothes. No matter what her mom picked out, she didn't like it, simply because her mom picked it out. That kid grew up knowing exactly what she didn't want for her life and eventually figured out what she did want.

And the oldest one who has clear defined interests and follows them and then changes directions after learning it may not be what he really wants. I remember a girl who wanted to be an astronaut but decided she wanted to be a wife and mother more.

My children are my heart and I love being a mother. I've always wanted to be a wife and mother and I wanted to do it in that order. God granted me my deepest desires and for that I am so grateful.

Slip-N-Slide

Ahh...the promise that summer is on it's way. Those warm May days when you open all the windows and let the warm breeze waft through the house. That momment when you realize the air outside is better than the air inside that now suddenly smells stale and old.

Time to drag out the slip-n-slide, let the little girl put on her new bathing suit and watch her run over and over and then jump willingly onto a brightly colored piece of plastic covered in a sheet of cool, refreshing water straight from the hose.

Sunshine, spraying water, bright colors and an adorable little girl. All the makings of a good picture plus I haven't tried out my camera in full sunshine with the added element of water. I was not to be dissapointed.

I'm amazed at the ability of my camera to capture the water droplets in mid-air.

Water, it's so simple yet it can be one of the most beautiful things in the world. Kind of like our love for our children. It happens the moment you first lay eyes on them, the faucet of our heart is instantly turned on, flowing freely, sometimes sparkling and glimmering in the sun and at other times soothing and healing and life giving. In all the busyness of life I want to stop and remember and capture these moments. These are the ones they'll remember and I want to remember them too.

Remodeling

Oh, remodeling. It starts with lighting and then you find yourself sitting in the living room with your feet on a cold cement floor with the furniture all moved to one spot in the house. You can't find anything and it all seems a little overwhelming especially since Easter is only 5 days away and you have a house full of people coming.

It's all good and it's what I wanted so I'm happy to see and hear and smell it all. I was so happy to rip out the 1974 harvest gold and avacado green linoleum out of my entire dining room but man did it smell and the glue they used back then, I can think of a few good uses for it, not on flooring that someone else will have to spend hours ripping out.

Painting with three kids was a breeze and they were all so helpful. I'm not sure I would have accomplished so much without them. Even Breanna was helpful. Justin and I ripped out the carpet in the living room and Marcus took out all the border wood that had nails sticking up. Give that boy a hammer and a crow bar and he can get things done. I love it.

Breanna and I took out the wood plank flooring in the dining room and kitchen and Marcus carried it out outside for us. Then the scraping and pulling and groaning started. Underneath the wood plank flooring was beautiful, fabulous, oh-so-instyle linoleum. Not. Luckily we have this great tool that scrapes and pushes it from underneath so you can get a big chunk and pull with all your might. If you're lucky it comes up in big strips.

There is this one stubborn spot almost in the middle of the floor that just wants to hold on. I tried different angles and was able to chip away at it little by little but I finally had to give up since my arms and hands were hurting so bad from all the other work I had done.

But, if there's one thing I am, it's determined. I will remove that chunk of linoleum, I will.

Remodeling is disruptive, it's messy, it's exhausting, and it can be overwhelming. Kind of like when life happens and things are shaken up a bit. When things are moved or ripped up we can see the hidden dirt underneath. Sometimes it has been there for so long it starts to smell. Sometimes there are layers that need to be removed and there is this one spot, right in the middle that has been protected and the glue has been preserved. It's a tough one. One we don't want to let go of.

I don't want to be so stubborn and determined that my heart is hardened to the good things that God has in store for me, to prosper me, not to harm me, to give me hope and a future. I have good plans for this floor but I have to remove that stubborn spot before new flooring can be installed. I cannot lay beautiful new flooring over a spot of old linoleum just like God cannot give us good things when we refuse to give up that one thing we're holding onto the most. It wouldn't make sense to lay something so beautiful and new over something so old and worn out. Every time you walk on that spot, you would feel what's underneath. It would be a constant reminder that something that was old, outdated and not useful or beautiful anymore was still there. It would remind me that the job wasn't done. I want the job done.