A Year in Pictures To Get You Caught Up

I know, I know, its been almost a year since I posted. I've wanted to write on so many occasions but something is always way more important. While I didn't take on as much as last year, I was still very committed to many things and I wanted to do them well. Blogging was not a priority. I'm hoping this summer I can get into a rhythm and blog regularly. I want to write to write, to share with others and to find another way to create.

Here is a year in pictures for you... Above-my niece Sami's high school graduation. She's so beautiful and an amazing woman. It's been fun to have cousins the same age. They left for France last Monday and will be back soon. I miss my kid sooooo much. .                                                                        


Marcus turned 18 in May and we had an 80's Dance Party for him. He had a blast. So did we!

 Lizzie's bridal shower was in April. She's going to be a beautiful bride. Her shower was given by her bridesmaids and they did a great job. With the river flowing in the backyard, the huge trees that provided shade, the adorable decorations (all Pinterest inspired), the tea setting and all of the fabulous people all joined together to make a lovely setting to celebrate a lovely girl.
 These boys went to Prom in March. They both had dates and sadly, they both have since broken up with those girls. My heart is sad but I know it is part of life, especially the teenage life. They will never break up with their grandpa or each other so I'm glad I have this picture from that night.
 My mom has been gone over a year. I felt it in February at the one year mark, on her birthday, on Valentine's Day, on my birthday, on Mother's Day. I feel the loss of not having a mother and I do miss her. Those are some strange feelings for me but I'm learning to accept them and go with them.
 In January I let Breanna choose the color for her room. Of course it was a beautiful strawberry shortcake pink before with white eyelet bedding, curtains and such with all pink and white accents. I knew she had outgrown it and it was time to make a change. I love this color and I love all the accent colors she chose. I let her pick out everything and it came together well. She likes her new room and that's all that really matters. My girl is growing up and changing and I'm okay with that.
My dad has been living with us for almost two years now. We are constantly adjusting and learning how to live together and make it work. Anytime you mix three generations you will have some issues. We're all growing and learning to appreciate the small things because we have a lot of those. This picture was his sent out with his Christmas card. He does love his grandkids.

 Thanksgiving 2013. I decided to go low key and keep it simple. I didn't get out my china once again because I didn't want to wash it. Disposable almost everything. Wrap up the table and throw it away. Well, we did use real linens on the table and real silverware because who wants to eat turkey with a plastic fork, but other than that, we threw it away. It was simpler, easier and way less stress. Plus, I didn't spend the majority of the holiday in the kitchen. Win.
 In October we hosted a Halloween Harvest Hoedown and it was a blast. I managed to delegate almost everything so I wasn't stressed at all. We all had a good time and so did the other 100 people who attended.
Another year of Girl Scouts. She was a Junior this year and earned tons of badges and patches. It's always a learning experience for me and we constantly have to bring the focus back to the girls.

Well, there you have it. A year in pictures. Of course lots more has happened but those are just some of the highlights.

In all the busyness of life I am learning to enjoy it. I like the full schedule, the long to-do list, lots of responsibilities, projects, meetings, planning, creating, doing. I am also learning to slow down and stop sometimes, put everything on hold because it really can wait.

I Love Love

It was beautiful and magical and special and he let me be a part of it.

We knew back in June at her college graduation party and he asked if I would take pictures without her knowing I was there. Are you kidding me? Dream. Come. True.
What better timing than in Maui, on their one and half year anniversary on the very beach that holds so many wonderful memories for her? She was six months old the first time she came here and now here she is 23 years old and getting married.
He's everything I could ever hope for in a husband for Lizzie. I couldn't have made a better list and I'm really good at making lists.
I love our family and I love that its growing. It's always good when you love the newcomers. What's even more important is that they love us. We're big, we're loud, we're opinionated but we love deeply, protect one another, care for one another and need one another.
I'm so grateful that they let me be a part of something so special. What a gift.

Beach Bonfire

Beach Bonfire....who doesn't want to travel in a heat wave, in traffic, on a Saturday morning to the beach? Oh wait, I don't. But I did and I'm glad I did. We made memories and I'm grateful to live in a state where the beach is just a drive away. We didn't have our usual trio but Sihaya is awesome and we love her.

This boy. I can't say it enough. I will miss him when he's off to college. We are so proud of him and I'm looking forward to watching him grow and thrive in his new environment, but man, I'm going to miss him. I know a few others who will too.

This one is just as amazing and I'm glad we get a few more years with him around. He makes a nice additional big brother for my girl. He's also willing to pose as soon as he sees my camera.

I love this kid and as he grows into his own, I love him even more. He's funny, talented, creative, smart and fun to be around. I'm glad he's mine.

This one always amazes us. He met with his film mentor on the way to the beach and we're excited to see what will come of it. A great film project and career, I'm sure.

We love this kid and the set would not be complete without him. He's entertaining, imaginative, and very talented too. He makes me smile.

And this is what we came for, a beach bonfire and a bonfire wouldn't be complete without the ooey, gooey, marshmallowy goodness of smores.
My girl had a fun day too. She hung out with the older girls, her favorite thing these days, rode the rides, ate the carnival food, and didn't even wear a bow while doing it. She's growing up and I'm surprisingly okay with that.

So, we did it. We went to the beach and had a bonfire. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. Pretty much, life in a nutshell.

A Dream Come True

It all started with a wish. A 40th birthday wish that is. My 40th birthday was approaching last March and my dad asked me if he could give me what HE wanted instead of me telling him what I wanted. I'll be honest, I was annoyed. I wanted what I wanted, not what someone else wanted for me. Well, I was wrong on this one. He wanted to send me and Bryan to Charleston, South Carolina where they have the ONLY tea plantation in the United States. Yes please!

It took a year of planning, saving, arranging and deciding, but in April of this year Bryan and I boarded a plane and headed South. We arrived late on Thursday night after a very long day of travel but as soon as we stepped off that airplane in Charleston, I could feel it. The warm air washed over us as we exited the plane. The airport was almost empty, the stores were all closed and there was a quiet and stillness that this Californian is just not used to. We had arrived.



The Battery Carriage House Inn. A very, very old house that dates pre-Civil War. We stayed in the lowest level and later learned there are four more stories on top of where we stayed. It didn't matter. It felt southern and we were happy to be there.
And if you think we were living too high on the hog, not to worry. One of my dreams was to shop at a Piggly Wiggly. I mean, come on, who doesn't want to shop at a store that has a name like that. It just felt southern and I could have spent hours there but we had other things to see. We spent the little time that we had exploring the city, walking, eating, drinking, shopping, photographing, and always, always, looking up. The buildings were so beautiful and due to a lack of space most of the buildings were at least 4 stories high if not higher. The Palmetto, South Carolina's state tree. What beautiful trees and if you remember to look up, you're sure to see one. On the last night of our whirlwind trip I took a walk in the evening and took my trusty camera. There is water everywhere in Charleston. No matter where you are or where you look, you can almost always see water. The sun was setting on the river and I knew at that moment why my southern friend missed her home so much. No matter where she looked and in what direction, she probably saw this sight on a daily basis. I would miss it too. And I missed home too. Even though we were only gone four days I was anxious to get home. Home to my family, my kids, my house, my life. It really was a dream come true to visit the south and it doesn't get more southern than Charleston, South Carolina. So, thank you Dad. You really knew what I would want for my birthday. Time with my husband in a place I have always wanted to see. It doesn't get too much better than that.

It's been a little over two months

My mother has been gone for a little over two months and while I felt the approaching two month mark, I felt that I was the only one who noticed. I'm sure I'm not the only one who noticed although I didn't notice when other people had been gone exactly two months. But she was my mother.

I miss her and I didn't know why at first. I finally figured it out. I miss knowing I have a mother. I don't miss the guilt of feeling like I need to call her. I don't miss the crazy phone conversations that made me feel confused and frustrated, but I do miss knowing she is here.

These girls helped me get through the tough day of the memorial.  It was held in a bar which seems fitting for my mother. She loved to eat there and they knew her by name. It was strange for me but I wanted to honor her last wishes and that was to give her a party, not a funeral.

These girls along with my husband kept me laughing, supported me and knew just the right thing to say at just the right moment.

Her sister Mary. My closest connection that I have with my mother. There was a time when they were close but time, distance and life choices created a gap between them. I'm grateful that she and her husband made the trip down to California for the memorial.

Oh, my brother and my sister. The only other people in this entire world that understand and know my childhood. No on else knows what it was like. Regardless of how close we are or what we agree on or disagree about, there is a connection.

Her cousin Elizabeth and her brother Terry. She loved them both so much and they loved her. They accepted her and she knew she could call on them.

Kelly girl. Always there to make me laugh. Always there when I need her, no matter what.

And Steph. Although time, life choices and circumstances have tried to pull us apart, there will always be a connection between us. With these two by my side, along with my husband, I can do anything. They have all known me for so long and they know how I tick. I'm so grateful to feel carried by so many people during a difficult time.

Donna Kay

My mother passed away on Wednesday, February 6, 2013 at 7pm, 3 days before her 68th birthday. My mother is dead. What harsh words. I don't have a mother anymore. While that is sad, she didn't hold a large place in my life, mostly by her choices but in the last several years, by my choice. I choose to surround myself with healthy, postive people, people who make good life choices and work on having healthy relationships. My mother had a hard time doing that. And while the grieving heart does play tricks on the mind, I am still aware that not much will change for me. I am sad. Sad that she's gone. Sad that she won't see any of my kids get married or having babies. Sad that she didn't know how to be a healthy person and have a healthy relationship.  

She was beautiful and amazing to other people. I wish we knew the amazing person that everyone says she was. She was stubborn, determined and full of crazy ideas. Some of those ideas actually came to fruition and I know where I get my stubborness.   I forgive her for dying. I forgive her for not taking care of herself. I forgive her for giving up. I forgive her for the bad choices she made. And while I do have regrets, I will move forward and let go of them. I will focus on the people who are still here and be the mother she probably wanted to be but didn't know how to be.

I know, 5 months.....

I'm embarrassed that it has been five months since I have written. I think about writing all the time but I always find myself so far behind on so many things that I don't feel like I can sit down and write a blog. I absolutely love following blogs and I am always sad when someone stops writing regularly.

I've had to prioritize so many things and even the important things don't get done most of the time. I'm learning that saying no means saying yes to something and saying yes means saying no to something. I don't like saying no because I don't want to disappoint or let someone down but I'm also realizing that saying yes means I said no to someone else. I can't really win so I just keep going back to my priorities and making sure that my choices and decisions line up with them.

I keep reminding myself that I went into this school year two months behind and we had a major life change happen as well. My dad moved in with us in August and while it has been mostly wonderful there is no denying it has added to my responsiblities. I had them before but they were a little easier to ignore and neglect, not so anymore.

This is what I want and I am so thankful that it is the way it is. If I was to be completely honest with myself I would admit that I am completely overwhelmed, overcommitted, overscheduled and over everything. But if I was to continue to be completey honest with myself I would also admit that I love my life. I love being busy. I love having commitments, long to-do lists, huge responsiblities and people counting on me.

 I am so completely and utterly blessed beyond measure. I have so much, so much abundance that I cannot contain it all. I have so many friends that I don't have enough time to see them all. I have so many ideas that I cannot do them all. I have so many projects that I cannot complete them all. I have so many places I want to go but I cannot get to them all. What a wonderful problem.

So I will continue to work towards being more organized, managing my time better, being better prepared for each day, keeping my priorities in line and constantly having a grateful heart. The last part is not so hard to do.

Here are a few highlights from the last 5 months:

Lauren and Mike's wedding in October

Marcus as King Triton in The Little Mermaid in November:

Thanksgiving at our house:

Christmas, yes, there were iPhones, more on Christmas later though:

More to come, I promise.