This girl saved me.

This girl saved me. She helped me with my kids when they were very little and I will be forever grateful.

She came into our lives when Justin was a newborn. I can remember one of my first Sundays back at church after having him and she asked if she could hold him. She was only 12 at the time. I let her and the rest is history.

She has babysat, changed diapers, done laundry, done yardwork, washed cars, gone grocery shopping, painted, sanded, rearranged, cleaned my house more times than I can count and just generally saved my butt on several occasions. She was like a clone of me. I could give her a list of things to do and she would do every single one of them and do them well.

I never worried when she was watching my kids. I knew they would be watched and cared for and they loved having her here. She was here when we went to find out if our third baby was a boy or a girl. She had a gift ready for both and I know she was so happy to give me the girl present. She was here when I wanted to nest and get the house ready for Breanna. She was here when I came home from the hospital and I let her pick out Breanna's outfit. She was here for me all those days when I was so exhausted from being up all night nursing. She was here to help me, to support me and give me a break. She was here when I was at the end of my rope with the kids and all of my responsibilities. She let me find my happy place.

And now, she is having a baby herself. I can't wait to hold her little girl and spoil her and foof her up. I know she's going to be a great mommy and I have full confidence that her baby girl will be just as girly as mine.

She is 7 today.

This girl turned seven today. I can still remember when they placed her in my arms and then gently asked for her back. The nurses took a long time looking at her and fussing with her. They were talking quietly to each other and after a while it bothered me. I wanted my baby, my princess that I had waited for my entire life, the girl who would fulfill all my dreams of bows, and shoes, and dresses and tights and dolls and tea and so much more.

They finally did give her back and left the room only to return shortly after. The room was filled with family and friends who were lovingly passing her back and forth, snapping photos and then she started crying. She wanted her mommy. Once she was back in my arms the doctor, who was the pediatrician on call that day, said they needed to speak with us alone.

A sudden hush filled the room and slowly everyone left the room except Bryan and I. She said she would never forgive herself if she didn't say something. She thought Breanna had Down Syndrome. Everything after that I failed to hear. What? How could this be? Why wasn't this found on the Level 2 ultrasound done at five months? I didn't understand and then I started to shut down. I went numb. People slowly came back to the room, only those who were very close to us and asked what the doctor had said. We explained what they said knowing it was ridiculous but it still rocked my world.

Suddenly I didn't want to hold my baby. It was just Kelly and I sitting in the room. I don't know why it was just the two of us but it is so clear in my mind, that time with her. She declared health over my baby and then told me to hold my baby. I did and then Kelly said the funniest thing I have ever heard. She said, "That doctor just doesn't like hobbits!" Breanna had splayed toes (one of the symptoms of DS). Several people in Bryan's family have splayed toes. Lord of the Rings had just come out. Hobbit were big at the time and very popular. It made me laugh and that was important at that moment.

No matter what, she was my little girl. I went deep within myself and asked God if she had Down Syndrome. He said to trust Him. I did. Even though I had that reassurance I still doubted. They came in and took blood from my precious girl to send to the lab for tests. This test takes a full week to get the results. That meant we had to wait for a week to know. I knew, but I constantly dealt with fear. I also knew that if for some reason that test came back a certain way, she would be the cutest Down Syndrome Baby you had ever seen. I would love her no matter what.

Well, of course we got the results and she did not have DS. It was a long five days but five days I will never forget. I learned a lot about myself, about God and those around me. We have an incredible support system in place. They are there for the good, the bad and the ugly.

This little girl has blessed me beyond what I could ever ask for or imagine. She is everything I had hoped for and so much more. She completes me, she completes our family and my world is filled with so much pink that I overflow with love and joy and pride for this little girl.

I cannot think of her birth day without those very difficult moments and hours when we thought we might have a special needs child. I am thankful for them. It gave me clarity. It was a gift. She is a gift.

Honor

It was beautiful. It was full. It was feminine and sweet and sparkly and glittery. Everywhere you looked there was something to delight the eyes. A feast for the eyes. Such beauty and grace and charm. The room was filled to the brim with particles of joy and the expectation of what was to come was almost too much.

Lovely music in the background. Crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Artistic paintings hanging on every wall. Pastels and antiques in every corner. Handmade creations packaged in clear cellophane. Silver teacups and saucers nestled between heirloom silverware at each place setting. As each guest arrived she was greeted with such joy and love as if everything was just for that one.

Steaming hot water filled each gorgeous silver teacup. The overstuffed chair slowly filled up with creatively wrapped gifts for the special birthday girl. Each gift hand chosen to mark a special occasion in her life. The guests took their places.

And then she took out a box. A tin box with the name Hamilton on it. Her last name. I got a glimpse of what might be in that box a few days back when I dropped off a boy of mine at her house and stopped to chat for a few minutes. Oh, the box held so much love it in. Love that she painstakingly put into each beautiful, individual gift for each guest.

Slowly and purposefully she pulled out each necklace. As she saw each name she would give a little gasp. "This lovely lady...." And each one was described with significance and meaning. Each one was made to feel as if they were the most special person ever. That they filled a spot in her life that no other could in that way. And then she would present her guest with their necklace and hug them like they were the only person in the room.

And then there was the food. The food. Each little bite held with it a mouthful of surprise and delight. Each one was disguised as an everyday morsel but it was not so. They were anything but everyday. They were scrumptious morsels that awoke the tastebuds. Just when we thought it was over, more would come out on beautiful trays delivered by handsome children. How sweet to have your children serve your guests. It makes a mother's heart proud.

From the very start to the very end each detail was acknowledged and appreciated. It was special and I felt honored to be a part of it.