My Mom

My mom with my uncle Terry


So that last post was a bit random and strange but I was not in a good place at the time. I have always had a strained relationship with my mom and in the last few years she has been very ill. She has Pulmonary Hypertension, Congestive Heart Failure, Chirossis of the liver, blood clots and a genetic disorder that doesn't allow the blood to clot properly called Protein C Deficiency. I've recently been tested for this and I'm waiting for the results. She's also an alcoholic which complicates things in so many ways. I honestly don't believe we would be in this mess if she wasn't. I've been helping her with her doctor appointments, medications and hospital stays in the past few years and it's been very difficult. It's like taking care of a stranger but worse, you do know this person and you are related to them and they are your parent. In the beginning I honestly wanted to have a relationship with her and help her get better. I still want that but after three years of doing this and after each episode I have to take several weeks to recover from it myself, I've decided that I really need to remove myself from the situation. I've said it several times that I'm done but then I go back into the situation when they call and say she's going to the hospital. I've always said that the end of the day I have to know that I did the right thing. It takes so much from my family when I'm involved and it's just not fair to them though. Is it fair to neglect your children, husband, house, responsibilities to take care of a sick parent? She is my mother, I love her, and so I will continue to honor her but there will be boundaries that will be maintained. She's home from the hospital after a 17 day stay at Antioch Kaiser where she busted out of. They kept telling her they wanted to keep her one more day and finally she had had enough, pulled out all her IV's and walked out of the hospital with security running after her. They finally let her go after she signed the waivers saying she wouldn't sue them. I see where I get my determination from.