I can't explain it. I'm actually enjoying Christmas. I'm enjoying the shopping, the wrapping, the creating, the decorating, the baking, the parties, the events, all of it. Seriously, I can't remember when I have enjoyed the Christmas season this much. I don't know exactly why it's different this year and I've spent a lot of time thinking about it. Is it because I truly am happy for the small things, is it because I've finally learned to enjoy all the aspects of this time of year, or is it because we have the resources to create this Christmas and make it special, is it because my children are older and I have more time to shop, bake, decorate, create than I ever have before? What is it? I'm just not sure. Am I more grateful than I have been in the past? I am so thankful and grateful and I realize that my cup really does run over. I have so much good stuff in my life and I struggle to take care of it all. I can't take care of it all and it's all so good. I love staying home with my children and caring for my house, I love homeschooling my children and having co-ops, I love volunteering at church, I love being involved in my homeschool support group, I love having all these animals, I really do and it all requires a lot of work if you want to do it well. And I want to do it well. Is it that I keep hearing my beautiful neice Lizzie in my head saying that she loves Christmas? I remember when I heard her say it the first time and I looked at her like she was crazy. I even thought to myself that maybe she was a little bit off but now I realize it was me who was off. I was looking at it all wrong. When those decorations start showing up in the stores around Easter, okay Halloween, it's okay to smile and look forward to this holiday. It's okay to enjoy decorating the Christmas tree and if all the kids don't want to participate, that's okay. If you want to have a theme on your tree and none of the kid's ornaments can go on it, that's okay, especially if none of your special ornaments were on the tree for the past three years. It's okay to tell the beautiful little girl to not put all the ornaments in one place on the tree. It's okay to let your kids eat candy canes in the morning after breakfast. It's okay to look forward to the holiday parties and events. It's okay to tell your kids to smile like your parents just took you to Disneyland for the family photo. It's okay to address your Christmas card envelopes in October. It's okay to have your tree up, the inside and outside of the house decorated and your Christmas card ready to mail before December 1st. None of that was okay with me before but it is now. I'm not sure if there is just extra grace this year or it's me. I keep asking myself why I am enjoying Christmas time this year because I want every year to be this good. My tree is so beautiful and I can't help but smile when I look at it, my family is so beautiful and I can't help but smile when I think about them or see them do something special or hear them say something profound, the Christmas lights on our house are almost magical this year, all the parties have been some of the best ever. All I know is this. I'm loving it.
No comments:
Post a Comment